Personal Independence After Divorce

Catherine Richey
Jul 4
3 min read

This morning, as I sipped my coffee and thought about the 4th of July, my mind wandered to fireworks, flags, and all the usual traditions of Independence Day.

Fireworks celebration for Independence Day

But then it drifted somewhere deeper. I started thinking about what independence has meant in my own life.

And suddenly, I was back in Washington state — Mother’s Day, nine years ago.

That week, I had taken my oldest son to his first assigned duty station at Joint Base Lewis-McChord, just outside Tacoma. He was stepping into his new life as an Army medic, moving from training into real military service. I got him settled, hugged goodbye, and then I got in my rental Jeep and headed to the Seattle airport.

I cried almost the entire way.

Not quiet tears—grief-heavy sobs. I was releasing so much all at once: my baby was stepping into the unknown, my marriage was unraveling, and deep down I knew my own life was about to change forever.

By the time I reached the rental car return, I realized I’d forgotten to fill up the gas tank. The attendant gently informed me of the (outrageous) fill-up fee, and I completely lost it. I told him I’d just dropped off my son to the Army. It was Mother’s Day. I was exhausted and heartbroken and totally overwhelmed. I was sobbing in front of this poor stranger in the rental car garage.

He softened immediately. “Don’t worry,” he said, kindly adjusting the charge to something much less than it should have been. Just a simple act of grace that I’ll never forget.

When I boarded my flight, I found out I’d been upgraded to first class. (Thanks, universe?) I cried most of that flight home, too. And those sweet flight attendants? They heard the whole story.

It was not my most graceful moment—but it was one of my most human.

The Day I Chose Myself

A few days later, while my ex-husband took our other two kids to a soccer tournament out of town, I hired a moving company. I packed up my belongings, left the house we’d raised our children in, and moved into a small rental just a few miles away. By the time the kids returned from the trip, their new rooms were set up, and I had taken my first big step toward healing and freedom.

That was the beginning of my personal Independence Day—the first time, as an adult, that I stepped into personal independence after divorce and became truly self-sufficient.

I had to rebuild everything: emotionally, financially, mentally.

I had to learn how to take care of myself again.

And I had to choose to prioritize my own well-being so I could continue to show up for my kids, not from depletion, but from strength.

What Personal Independence After Divorce Taught Me—Nine Years Later

I look back now, nine years later, and I feel so much tenderness for the woman I was then—scared, exhausted, grieving—but brave as hell.

Today, I’m standing in a life that is grounded, joyful, healthy, and deeply aligned.

But it didn’t happen by accident. It happened through:

Tiny, consistent decisions to take care of myself
Learning to ask for help (and accept it)
Reconnecting with what brought me joy
And doing the deep inner work to find peace—on my own terms

Why I’m Sharing This with You

Because I know what it’s like to feel stuck.

To wonder how you’re going to start over.

To look in the mirror and not recognize yourself anymore.

And I also know what it’s like to come out on the other side — stronger, softer, wiser, and more connected to your own truth than ever before.

Your Next Step

As a coach, I don’t pretend to have all the answers.

But I do know how to walk beside you through those hard, messy seasons.

I know how to ask the questions that help you reconnect with what matters most.

I know how to help you rewrite the next chapter — whether that’s in your health, your relationships, your career, or your daily routines.

Your version of independence might not look like mine. But I promise you this: it’s worth claiming.

If you’re craving more freedom — emotional, relational, nutritional, financial — I invite you to take one brave step today.

📅 Book a free clarity call here: http://www.calendly.com/ModernMindsetCoaching

Let’s talk about where you are, where you want to be, and what’s standing in the way.

Because the best kind of fireworks aren’t just in the sky. They’re the ones that go off inside you when you finally say: “This life is mine. And I get to choose how it feels.”