Judgment-Free or Free-Judgment? What a Hair Salon Taught Me About Coaching and Life

There was a season in my life—post-divorce, post-identity-crisis—when I decided to date a wide variety of personality types, just to see who I meshed with.

I’d married young and had spent years defining myself in the context of that relationship. But outside of it? I wasn’t quite sure who I was. So, I started dating with intention—not just to find someone, but to find myself.

One afternoon, I was sitting in my stylist’s chair, catching up like we always did, swapping stories and laughing about the ups and downs of online dating. I was particularly shocked by how much people lied on dating sites—tiny lies, big lies, full-on identity rewrites.

As I was telling a story about one particularly creative liar, my stylist’s assistant chimed in and said brightly,

“Tell us everything! This is a free judgment zone!”

He immediately caught himself and laughed. “I meant, judgment-free zone.”

But I grinned and said, “No… you were right the first time. It’s definitely a free judgment zone in here.”

And it was. You could practically feel the snap evaluations in the air as soon as someone walked into the salon:

Rich or poor? Trashy or classy? Down-to-earth or high-maintenance?

There was an unspoken categorization system in place, and most of us—myself included—had been guilty of participating in it.

That moment stuck with me.

Judgment-Free Coaching

Later, during my coaching training, we studied the concept of suspending judgment—not just for others, but for ourselves, too. We were taught to meet people exactly where they are. To ask questions. To truly listen without mentally scripting assumptions about who someone is based on their clothes, car, relationship status, or zip code.

We learned to be present—not as performers, but as partners. To hear someone’s story from their perspective, not through the filter of our past.

That training didn’t just make me a better coach.

It made me a better human.

Because once you learn how to listen without trying to fix, evaluate, or compare, something shifts.

You stop assigning labels to people before they even open their mouths.

You start giving people space to show you who they are instead of deciding who they are before they have the chance.

And you start choosing the people you allow into your life with more care.

I've learned to surround myself with "good eggs," the kind that make life richer, brighter, and more delicious.

These days, I surround myself with what I lovingly call

“good eggs.”

People who lift others up instead of tear them down.

People who don’t need to dim someone else’s light to shine.

People who have earned a place at my table—not because they’re perfect, but because they’re kind, curious, and real.

At the end of the day, I’ve learned to ask one simple question:

Are you going to make my life more delicious… or spoil the mix?

If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, labeled too quickly, or unsure of how to really

be seen...

Know this:

You don’t have to keep proving yourself to rooms that don’t know how to receive you.

You don’t have to edit yourself to fit into someone else’s story.

You just need the right table.

The right circle.

The right kind of connection that begins with curiosity, not judgment.

And if you’re looking to rewrite your story—whether in your relationships, your health, or your daily rhythms—I’d be honored to walk with you, in a judgment-free coaching partnership.

Because life gets richer when we stop performing and start being.

👉 Ready for a reset that starts from the inside out? Schedule a free clarity call with me.

Let’s find your next chapter—one that feels nourishing, grounded, and real.

✍️ Catherine Richey

Coach & Chef for a Life You’ll Never Regret

Through nourishing meals, intentional habits, and joyful clarity, I help you rewrite your story from the inside out.

🔗 www.modernmindsetcoaching.com